Mike - Banished to the Mongolian coal mines for his Silver medal in the Synchronized swimming competition

Karl- First man to ever win gold in rhythmic gymnastics and dressage(look it up. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle!)

Betty- The things she can do with a ping pong...and a javelin... and a shot put...

Lillian- Put the BAD in BADminton!

Grace- Betty's "ping pong partner"

Team China's members who could not make it with us-
The 38 gold medalists from the London Games
Jackie Chan
Jeremy Lin
Mr. Miyagi (wait, is he even chinese?...)
Yao Ming
Bruce Lee
Yan Can Cook
That computer scientist spy dude
General Tso
Ming the Merciless(i.e. Flash Gordon)

Team China - dominating the East Coast, the West Coast & the Far East Coast!
You can keep Mississippi...

For the people!!

(please note the above should be taken as satire, we are not really communists...or are we...?)