Lawsuits and collateral damage bills add up, but the defense industry has deep pockets.

We are an elite band of ninja fighters who fought gallantly against the mighty shredder and his infamous footclan in early nineties New York. We also happen to be mutant turtles who love eating pizza, therefore our awesomeness should not be challenged at any point. In the current world however, the need for justice fighters of the highest degree has declined to almost nothing and forced to to sell our mutated souls and join corporate America. We are the Teenage Mutant Corporate Turtles. Last minute cancellations have us flying solo, so expect some shenaniganry with your team members who are too drunk to know which car they're in.

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